Saturday, September 24, 2011

I stumble towards my mirror...

So today I was thinking... Another shocker of mine... A lot of Christians could care less about the fact that someone died for them. I realized myself, that today I didn't care about that fact. I say I do, and I want too. But I don't. When something happens two-thousand years ago it's hard to believe that it's special, meaningful, and if it's actually even real.

I wake up in the morning and think about crap. Not poop. But what's considered poop in the eyes of Jesus and His father.
I wake up and instantly whore myself out to the world. I get out of bed and my mind is lost is sin and confusion. I know nothing about love, grace, forgiveness or hope.
Everything in my heart cries for change and love but my body pins it down and beats it senseless. I go on living life like I care, but when I get the chance I turn my back on Him and betray my Love like Judas did. I'll take the 30 talents over my Savior any day. The woman who was considered immoral in Luke: 7 loves Jesus more then I do.
If I saw Jesus face to face right now I would end up crying my own selfish tears so that my soul may be saved from Hell. I would sit and ponder at the glory of my pride and accomplishments. It kills me inside to know that I would do this.
That needs to change. It was made to be different. I want to truly believe in this man.
I want to truly love this man.
The man who died for me.

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