I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the Way...

Lately I've been realllllllllllllllllllllllllllly Tired. Not just physically tired. But spiritually and mentally wiped out. I don't know why. Everything is tiring. I'm drained from school and family and not being able to see my friends as much as I want. I need to be super charged spiritually, and emotionally I have no room to complain or argue my case because I am quite stable compared to my friends. But I still feel tired. I don't hate life. My life is actually pretty good. I hear the song How He Loves and want to start crying and weeping. I think I'm homesick. I long to be in the arms of the One who created me... Creation is so ridiculous to think about. David didn't lie when he said that God knew us before we were formed in our mothers womb. To think that God, a Man who know's and loves us and of whom we will never understand or comprehend, pulled us out of darkness and sparked our hearts from His. It's so raw and beautiful. It makes me homesick because I know that one day I'm going to be back in His arms. I know that no matter what happens, in the end I'll be His and only His. I'll no longer be tired.

Good God, can You still get us home?

I recently heard a story about this kid who has brain damage. He had a traumatic birth and is at the moment almost completely deaf. He is apparently reallllllllly brilliant and pretty awesome from what i've heard. But his parents are getting a divorce. My heart jumped into my throat and I had to swallow it back down. This is so painful to write because someone, some kid I don't even know is in pain because of stuff that happened to him earlier on in life. And his parents are getting a divorce because of their problems. I get so fed up with the parents of my friends when they fight. I get mad at my parents when they fight. Why, you ask? You might say that it's natural. Or it's because something is wrong. Or because they married the wrong person and this is how they figure things out. I don't care. Arguments are completely pointless. Fighting solves nothing. It always ends up in someone getting hurt. No matter what happens fighting always ends up with someone getting hurt. Look at war. People will die. Hopes will be crushed. Everyone comes out bruised no matter who has the upper hand.

Abraham Lincoln said ~ "I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends"

We should pause our lives and shutup our selfishness. Burn it to the ground. Why can't anyone see that selfishness and self-absorption is the biggest problem in the world? As a Christian it's our goal to be as humble and meek as possible so that other can take our example. I hope that one of my Christian brothers and sisters influence that kids parents to be selfless. Divorcing the problems we have is not a solution. It helps in the moment. But in the long run it screws a whole lot up than you see at the moment. Selfishness = Bad. Selflessness = Good. Love is a huge step in being humble. So love. Ask Jesus for help. And pray that our self absorption can be destroyed.


Y-O-Y ~ Plugin Stereo

I hear a bird as it whispers in my ear
It says oh what a waste of time,
Look how you live your life,
Trying to show no fear.
I see a man as he sits along on the street
He holds a sign that begs for love
His mind is so messed up
That he can’t even think.

So in this big world you gotta’ keep your head straight
Take baby steps and you’ll get there some day.
So y-o-y would I just let my life be a waste,
A bag of bones, a waste of space
And how oh how did you think to wait til now if you want to fix this place

I smell the scent of greed that makes us dwell
We’re always at each others necks, trying to be the best
Looking out for ourselves
I feel like we’ve lost touch with what’s real
With our heads stuck up in the clouds, only living for now
Tell me what’s the deal

So in this big world you gotta’ keep your head straight
Take baby steps and you’ll get there some day.
So y-o-y would I just let my life be a waste,
A bag of bones, a waste of space
And how oh how did you think to wait til now if you want to fix this place

So y-o-y would I just let my life be a waste,
A bag of bones, a waste of space
And how oh how did you think to wait til now if you want to fix this place

What Is Love?

There's a song by the non-christian band called NeverShoutNever. It's a good song. But the dude rambles on in the chorus saying "What is love? What is love?"
I've found myself asking myself "what is love Jordan?". I really can't explain to you what it is. In fact I don't have a clue what love is. I don't. I really don't... I've recently been exposed to the fact that life isn't about me and my problems and my success. I've realized that all of us need something to hold on too. A lot of places I go, turn God into a book. We have to read Him word for word. Page by page. It sucks. I find myself hating this God. Why? Because God, if He is a book, is one to where you can read the first book to the last and never comprehend it. You can study every single word and page and never figure it out. I like this God. Why? Because thats part of Love. Being able to sit there and know that it's okay to not have anything figured out. Because I don't. And neither do you. I don't think we can figure out what love is till we meet Love itself. We have to hold on to the fact that we can't figure love out but we must know that God Himself is the mystery we spend our lives to solve...