Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Son of David... Don't pass me by.

I read a blog post from a friend saying she felt as if her life was a dream. Her dad died this year, and she's pretty broken about it. It isn't easy. Not at all. She is pretty much on a roller coaster now from what I've seen, heard, and what she's told me. I myself have been on a roller coaster... Probably nothing close to what my friend is on... But pretty close. Back to the dream part. I just finished listening to the song "Closer" by John Mark McMillan and he sings

Come closer, closer to me.
Find me broken, find me bleedin'
cause I need more now than a fairy tale,
a god who lives in a book.
I need someone real.

So would you come?
Would you come?
If i begged you, would you come closer to me now?

Come closer, closer to me.
Find me broken, find me on my knees,
cause I need more now than philosophy.
Some god in outer space doesn't mean anything to me.

So would you come?
Would you come?
If I begged you, would you come closer to me now?
Would you come?
Would you come?
If i begged you, would you come closer to me now?

Son of David, do not pass me by,
cause I am naked,
I'm poor and I'm blind.
Son of david, don't pass me by,
cause I am naked,
I'm poor and I'm blind.

Why do we live in a dream? Why is it the media is a dream world? Where they talk about how celebrity's should be our role models and how the needs and problems of the world are just talked about. Why is it we as humans would rather have a dream than reality? This frustrates me. I feel like the Christian church is teaching me to just dream of being with Jesus until I die and go to heaven. I feel like my generation is taught to just dream of sitting at the feet of Christ. Not actually live it. It's annoying because for the longest time I thought I had to fast and pray in my sleep. Nothing is wrong with that at all. Not at all. But you see. I can't fast because I have the metabolism of a horse. I eat a lot and burn fat by sitting. For about a month I was frustrated because I couldn't get close to God because I can't fast. It was realllllllllly frustrating because everyone around me was on this spiritual high from fasting and it was killing me. God isn't something that needs to be striven for. He loves me if I'm stuffing my face or if I'm starving. He isn't a fairy tale that can only be dreamed about. He is a reality. That should be shoved into my brain as well as yours. He's more real than that roller coaster you're on.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Come Let Us Reason...

Behold the Lamb who takes away the sins of the world
Behold Him
Behold Him generation
What we have seen with our eyes, what we have heard with our ears
What we have looked upon, what we have touched
Concerning the word of Life, that is what we proclaim
Behold Him generation
And we speak unto you, this Man is alive
Fully alive, and He is on fire
Just one encounter
With eyes like a flame of fire
It's better than conversations with great men of history
It's a burning passion
Behold generation
His words are Spirit and Life
You're made for Him
You're the only ones made for Him
You're the only creatures
You're the only ones created
Given eyes to see Him
Given ears to hear Him
Hearts that feel His affection
You're the only ones
He will not share you, He will not let you go
You remain for Him and Him alone
He will not stop until He has all of you
A generation caught in the throws of depression, addictions, hopelessness
He will not stop, unto death He will not stop
Even unto death
You're not an accident of science
He's the very one that formed you in your mothers womb
He will not relent
He will not stop
He's the very one who brought you forth
He's the one that purchased you
With His own blood
That you would be His, and fully His
We don't work right without Him
Depression, addictions, hopelessness
Behold the Lamb
One encounter with Him
The nations will see Him
Our darkness, His light
Your eyes were made to behold Him
You were made to behold Him
Come now let us reason together
Though your sins are like scarlet
I will make them white as wool
Though you are like crimson
I will make you white as snow
Lift your eyes, behold your God
Every nation behold the Lamb
Behold your God
Behold your God
Our darkness, His light

Monday, October 11, 2010

IV. "Thou hast thy calling to some palace-floor..."

Thou hast thy calling to some palace-floor,
Most gracious singer of high poems! where
The dancers will break footing, from the care
Of watching up thy pregnant lips for more.
And dost thou lift this house's latch too poor
For hand of thine? and canst thou think and bear
To let thy music drop here unaware
In folds of golden fulness at my door?
Look up and see the casement broken in,
The bats and owlets builders in the roof!
My cricket chirps against thy mandolin.
Hush, call no echo up in further proof
Of desolation! there's a voice within
That weeps . . . as thou must sing . . . alone, aloof.

~ Elizabeth Barret Browning...

Sunday, October 3, 2010

As His Heart Bleeds...

Something is breaking in me... It's really hard to describe it. In fact there is no possible way for me to describe it at the moment. Something inside me is being ripped out, and yet something is being planted in me. It's nothing bad, I'm not emo. It's quite beautiful. The best way to elaborate on what I'm feeling is in a song. It's called Samskeyti by Sigur Ros. I went to this camp called CIY (Christ In Youth) and after each evening session they would play this song as we were walking out to go do our youth group discussions. It's a lovely song. And each night I would listen to it after leaving the auditorium, feeling like Jesus took a mess of spiritual emotions and shoved them into my soul. It's true though. He did. He took everything out of me and put them into a box and then burnt it. He put in me something more than this world has to offer. I looked up the definition of Samskeyti (it's Icelandic) and one definition was "Seam". Interesting huh? One of the definitions of "seam" is; "to join." We are joined with the man who died for us. Through His blood we are joined. We are seamed together with the purest form of love there is known to man. He has a heart. And we just so happen to be stitched to it. To think of it, Jesus without us would be like a shirt with no stitching. An arm with no elbow. Thinking about this makes me want to cry. I thought those emotions He shoved into me would disappear after the last service. He's proving me wrong. Right at this moment He's proving me wrong. But it's so much more than an emotion. It's love swirling in my chest. It's love swirling in my head, It's love surrounding me like a blanket. Finding me in this mess of love is like finding a needle in worlds of haystacks. For you to find yourself in this is like trying to find out if the stars ever end. It's impossible. To comprehend God is like trying to outrun a bullet. He's going to hit you. Like seeing what would happen if you tried to go a month without sleep. It's going to catch up to you soon. He is love.