Do you know the muffin man?

So I'm tired and worn out. My nose is a little runny and my throat feels scratchy. Cool.
On the bright side, I just ate a banana muffin.
I really am trying to embrace the fact that God has something beautiful come out of everything that involves suffering. I was talking to my mom about some serious issues in my life and she said something along the lines of "It's obviously nothing God can't fix."
What happens when you eat food? Your body DESTROYS and breaks down the stuff you're feeding yourself to supply nutrients to the human body.
What happens when you sleep? You crash for however long but wake up refreshed and energized (sometimes).
What happens when you plant a seed? You shove it in some mud and a beautiful plant comes up from where you piled on crap loads of dirt on a little speck of a seed.
Something beautiful grows from the stalling, striving, and pain in life.
You throw some mud on a situation and it honestly looks like a piece of crap. But in the long run, something springs up out of it in the form of something beautiful.
What if you ate something and you pooped it out exactly as it went in. It would have done absolutely nothing for you.
If you believe in the one God that created you and I then it's only a matter of time till we all realize that beauty comes from pain.
Jesus loves you. It's true.
That muffin was tasty.

Jesus is a friend of mine...

I like celery a lot. It makes me happy. I can walk around the house crunching on celery all day. It's tasty.
Jesus made celery for me. He's a nice guy.
He also loves me. Enough to make celery for me.
It makes me happy when I think about it.
I like celery.
I like Jesus.
He's cool...



I like peanut butter too.
And hugs...
And Chinese food.
And Spongebob.

Memories

Eisley ~ Memories.

He was throwing grain into the ground below, ground below
With dreary circles of his arm, going slow, very slow
His cap pulled down round his ears
To hide the smile and watery tears

My loving wife, it's so wonderful
How small seeds gracefully do grow
Into beautiful things that spring from these rows
With their musical names and musical sounds

Dreary birds parade across the dreary sky, but down below
The woman absent mindedly begins to sow, how she sows
The seeds her husband loved so much
But he's no longer here with us

But her life is so beautiful as memories continue to grow
Into beautiful things that spring from these rows
With their musical names and musical sounds
And this beautiful things that spring from these rows
With their musical names and musical sounds, and musical sounds

Distant though I am orange, gold and green
Firing, flaming, colors surround me
I'm always wondering where you are
I'm always wondering where you are

Darling shouldn't I be the one?
Wondering after all I'm the one who is gone
I'm always wondering where you are
I'm always wondering where you are

Darling shouldn't I be the one?
Wondering after all I'm the one who is gone
I'm always wondering, I was just wondering
I was just wondering, I'm the one who is gone, who is gone

But, there's beautiful things that spring from these rows
With their musical names and musical sounds, and musical sounds

Falling Slowly

Two of the greatest people in my dads life died within three days. One of his best friends and co-workers, and his father. I've never seen him this vulnerable in my entire sixteen years of living. It's terrible. But it makes me think that if this is how vulnerable my dad is. Then so much greater is the vulnerability of God's heart. How vulnerable my heart is.

Everytime I think of God's heart I think of playdough. I LIKE PLAYDOUGH. But. Anyways. Those of you who read this and have young'uns surely know that no matter how hard you try and get the point across. Your children will always mix the two (or more) colors of playdough. C'mon. They won't keep it all in one place and make sure it never touches the other colors. Almost impossible.

Annnnnnnnnyways. Back to the point.
God is like playdough.
We are lik playdough.
Playdough is vulnerable.
Our playdough like hearts get mashed into God's playdough like heart.
Which ends in an unseperable mix of God's heart and ours.
I like playdough a lot. I like making rainbows with it.

POIN PROVEN.

Stay for a while...

Stay for a while
I've got nothing else to lose but you
Though you're in pain
But I'm begging you to hold on tight
Tell me I'll be alright

No matter where you go
I will keep you safe
Don't ever be afraid
The stars are shining bright
Through cold and endless nights
I will always always be with you

Chained to your bedside
but I never wanna be set free

Somehow I see more life in you
yet I'm the one without a disease
Oh please tell me that I'm alright

No matter where you go
I will keep you safe
Don't ever be afraid
The stars are shining bright
Through cold and endless nights
I will always always be with you

Lou's Song ~ Jason Upton feat. Micah Lother

Breaker.

For Today is an amazing band. These are the lyrics to four of their songs. I know you might not think this could match up with what you're feeling. But it does. It does with everyone.
We're all in this together.


The Breakers Origin~

Fear
Pain
Confusion
Powerless
Hopelessness.
How can I break this cycle of hopelessness
When I'm broken, soaked in the spirit of anger
With the roots of bitterness
Rooted in the marrow of my bones
Flourishing through my soul
Oh my soul.

The Breakers Valley~

Sick and tired
Trapped
My body wrapped with sharp pain because my body wasn't made to contain all this rage
My mind wasn't made
My eyes weren't made
My soul was not made to behold what shackles my soul now
Bound by the memories of being innocent
Uncle sinning against me, sexually
Momma knew he was molesting me, smacking me across my face
I could do nothing
Pops wasn't around to give me the time of the day
All I wanted was the and the place where I could be loved
A hug from my mom was too much
So I turned to the net while I was hooked like a fish
As I click, click, clicked to watch porn flicks
Trying to find intimacy
Or an outlet at least
But as I try to breathe and be at ease
I see my mom in hell and the devil's breath through the glass pipe
I'm shattered in a flash
Fright and brokenness is the aftermath
Brokenness is my aftermath.

The Breakers Encounter~

As I was thinking
Back to a day
Where it was mid-day
But the sky was black like midnight
Seeing a lifeless body impaled by nails
Suffering at the blast of hell
Caught my attention cause it looked like a blood bath
As I looked past
And saw a broken man
Soaked in the white hot wrath of God
And I asked why
I found some answers in His bloody face
A face I began to recognize in the background of every instance of my life I ignored
Suddenly sense these spirits flooding, soothing my rude, rude soul
Though ruined by the world's view
He wooed me
Though crude and screwed up out of my mind
He pursued me
He made me holy
Whole.

The Breakers Commission~

Life
Love
Forgiveness
Acceptance
Stripping demons right off my back trying to leach life off me
Get off me and feel my Fathers fury, oppressor
One day you'll feel the full blast of His vengeance Beelzebub
But for now I'll love
Cause our God's strength
He blew courage in my backbone
Now I'll stand straight and militant lining up in Jehovah's battalion
Knowing you can't change Him so we march forward
Swift as eagles ready to grip souls from your grass
Slick snake in a crass
My Lord sees you and vengeance is His
But for no I retaliate
Propelled by a holy mandate to heal
Because I know how bad it hurts
Full of madness at first
But now
Gladness bursts out the seams of our beings
Cause we overflow with the oil of joy
The ointment of the anointed
Mending any torn soul
Healing any broken bone
He is here
He was there
He is peace
He is faith

When everything's said and done, You're all I really have. Amidst these setting suns...

A dear friend of mine and my families passed away this morning. When my parents moved to Virginia in 85 and my father started a construction business, my dad hired his first employee who just so happened to be the same man that died today. My dad was in this mans wedding. My dad worked for the man when he didn't have any work. And vice versa. I can't recall a single moment when I was in the same room as the man when he was being serious. Even when he was talking about something as serious as God, he never was super duper serious. Just mildly serious. And he'd always be cracking jokes.

Now.

You may think. "oh great he'll say 'lets take a lesson from this.'" but no. I don't like lessons. You go to Chemistry and History classes for "lessons". This man has a story. I don't even know what it is. I'm not even allowed to read his story unless he lets me. But the most beautiful thing I've realized today is that it's still being written. But even better. It's being written without any pain or trials incorporated into the script. It's being written in the most perfect handwriting. It's being written under the most elaborate scenes. It's being written by the hand of the one who created him in the first place. Kinda like that perfect book you know you have to find. So you can sit back and relax reading it under a tangerine sky. You know what I'm talking about. Anyways. It's things like these that keeps hope alive in the sense that no matter how much crap is forcefully shoved into our lives. There will be unfathomable beauty in the end.

Ecclesiastes 3:11
Look it up. And my point shall be proven.

Here's to you Dan White.
Can't wait to see you soon.
And soon it will be.