Stay for a while...

Stay for a while
I've got nothing else to lose but you
Though you're in pain
But I'm begging you to hold on tight
Tell me I'll be alright

No matter where you go
I will keep you safe
Don't ever be afraid
The stars are shining bright
Through cold and endless nights
I will always always be with you

Chained to your bedside
but I never wanna be set free

Somehow I see more life in you
yet I'm the one without a disease
Oh please tell me that I'm alright

No matter where you go
I will keep you safe
Don't ever be afraid
The stars are shining bright
Through cold and endless nights
I will always always be with you

Lou's Song ~ Jason Upton feat. Micah Lother

What Is Love?

There's a song by the non-christian band called NeverShoutNever. It's a good song. But the dude rambles on in the chorus saying "What is love? What is love?"
I've found myself asking myself "what is love Jordan?". I really can't explain to you what it is. In fact I don't have a clue what love is. I don't. I really don't... I've recently been exposed to the fact that life isn't about me and my problems and my success. I've realized that all of us need something to hold on too. A lot of places I go, turn God into a book. We have to read Him word for word. Page by page. It sucks. I find myself hating this God. Why? Because God, if He is a book, is one to where you can read the first book to the last and never comprehend it. You can study every single word and page and never figure it out. I like this God. Why? Because thats part of Love. Being able to sit there and know that it's okay to not have anything figured out. Because I don't. And neither do you. I don't think we can figure out what love is till we meet Love itself. We have to hold on to the fact that we can't figure love out but we must know that God Himself is the mystery we spend our lives to solve...

Son of David... Don't pass me by.

I read a blog post from a friend saying she felt as if her life was a dream. Her dad died this year, and she's pretty broken about it. It isn't easy. Not at all. She is pretty much on a roller coaster now from what I've seen, heard, and what she's told me. I myself have been on a roller coaster... Probably nothing close to what my friend is on... But pretty close. Back to the dream part. I just finished listening to the song "Closer" by John Mark McMillan and he sings

Come closer, closer to me.
Find me broken, find me bleedin'
cause I need more now than a fairy tale,
a god who lives in a book.
I need someone real.

So would you come?
Would you come?
If i begged you, would you come closer to me now?

Come closer, closer to me.
Find me broken, find me on my knees,
cause I need more now than philosophy.
Some god in outer space doesn't mean anything to me.

So would you come?
Would you come?
If I begged you, would you come closer to me now?
Would you come?
Would you come?
If i begged you, would you come closer to me now?

Son of David, do not pass me by,
cause I am naked,
I'm poor and I'm blind.
Son of david, don't pass me by,
cause I am naked,
I'm poor and I'm blind.

Why do we live in a dream? Why is it the media is a dream world? Where they talk about how celebrity's should be our role models and how the needs and problems of the world are just talked about. Why is it we as humans would rather have a dream than reality? This frustrates me. I feel like the Christian church is teaching me to just dream of being with Jesus until I die and go to heaven. I feel like my generation is taught to just dream of sitting at the feet of Christ. Not actually live it. It's annoying because for the longest time I thought I had to fast and pray in my sleep. Nothing is wrong with that at all. Not at all. But you see. I can't fast because I have the metabolism of a horse. I eat a lot and burn fat by sitting. For about a month I was frustrated because I couldn't get close to God because I can't fast. It was realllllllllly frustrating because everyone around me was on this spiritual high from fasting and it was killing me. God isn't something that needs to be striven for. He loves me if I'm stuffing my face or if I'm starving. He isn't a fairy tale that can only be dreamed about. He is a reality. That should be shoved into my brain as well as yours. He's more real than that roller coaster you're on.

Come Let Us Reason...

Behold the Lamb who takes away the sins of the world
Behold Him
Behold Him generation
What we have seen with our eyes, what we have heard with our ears
What we have looked upon, what we have touched
Concerning the word of Life, that is what we proclaim
Behold Him generation
And we speak unto you, this Man is alive
Fully alive, and He is on fire
Just one encounter
With eyes like a flame of fire
It's better than conversations with great men of history
It's a burning passion
Behold generation
His words are Spirit and Life
You're made for Him
You're the only ones made for Him
You're the only creatures
You're the only ones created
Given eyes to see Him
Given ears to hear Him
Hearts that feel His affection
You're the only ones
He will not share you, He will not let you go
You remain for Him and Him alone
He will not stop until He has all of you
A generation caught in the throws of depression, addictions, hopelessness
He will not stop, unto death He will not stop
Even unto death
You're not an accident of science
He's the very one that formed you in your mothers womb
He will not relent
He will not stop
He's the very one who brought you forth
He's the one that purchased you
With His own blood
That you would be His, and fully His
We don't work right without Him
Depression, addictions, hopelessness
Behold the Lamb
One encounter with Him
The nations will see Him
Our darkness, His light
Your eyes were made to behold Him
You were made to behold Him
Come now let us reason together
Though your sins are like scarlet
I will make them white as wool
Though you are like crimson
I will make you white as snow
Lift your eyes, behold your God
Every nation behold the Lamb
Behold your God
Behold your God
Our darkness, His light

Learning To Breathe...

Last night I was at this place called The Prayer Furnace in Fredricksburg out here in Virginia. It's awesome. Everyone there is so dear to me. I love it. But last night was realllllllly weird. I was standing there because there is no room to sit most of the time. And the worship music was blaring and it was at least 95 degrees in there. And I couldn't stand it. I had to breathe. I had to have silence. I walked out of the room and went outside and sat on my brothers car. I took out my mp3 player and put on some John Mark McMillan. I just sat and stared out at the stars. I couldn't stop my mind from running around in circles. As of this moment and a couple weeks prior, I'be been confused about being confused. I'm confused about some many things, God, my life, the whole "Love is the answer" concept. I can't wrap my mind around any of it. I sat there on the hood of Matt's little Nissan and wondered what I would do if I had it all figured out. Eventually after about fifteen minutes I saw a shooting star and made a wish. I don't know why I wished. I knew it wouldn't come true. Then I sat there and thought "what am I going to do?". Love is something you can't wrap your head around. God is something you can't wrap your head around. Your life is something you can't wrap your head around, except for the fact you're alive. It's annoying of course. But it's the process of being closer to Jesus Himself. We're all just learning to breathe...